Katarzyna Adamczyk: “I’m not going to be afraid of who I am”

A GCU student has been reflecting on how a simple exercise by a lecturer changed her as a trainee psychologist – and as a human being.

It’s been an emotional journey for DPsych Counselling Psychology student Katarzyna Adamczyk, who spoke candidly to GCU Student Life about her personal and professional transformation while studying in Glasgow.

Katarzyna, who’s now a stage 3 student, was recently revealed as the 2022 Division of Counselling Psychology (DCoP) Trainee Prize Winner for her reflective report: ‘The story of struggle with internalised homophobia and burnout'.

We caught up with Katarzyna and heard how her own battle with being bisexual provided inspiration for the report.

How did you come to study at GCU?

“I’ve been in Scotland for 11 years. I did my Masters Degree in Krakow and during it I went to the University of Aberdeen as part of the Erasmus Programme. Basically, I fell in love with a boy and I decided to move to Scotland once I’d graduated.

“I landed in Scotland and didn’t really know what to do. Long story short: I became an interpreter and started to work in one of the main hospitals in Aberdeen. When I went into the psychiatric wards, I just felt a calm and I knew what I wanted to do.”

“I applied for counselling psychology and clinical psychology, and I was accepted onto the programme at GCU.”

Tell me a bit about your reflective report and why you chose to focus on internalised homophobia and burnout?

“Basically, we all internalise homophobia because homophobia is prevalent in our society and culture in the same way that sexism, racism and classism are.

“It showed up in my therapeutic relationships with my homosexual clients and I wanted to share with them that I also have a minority sexual orientation. I felt shame and I was afraid that I would be rejected, especially by my heterosexual clients. That was a journey that led me to ask myself more and more questions.

“There was a specific incident that really helped me. One of my GCU lecturers spoke about the importance of equality and diversity within counselling psychology and she gave us an experiential exercise where we basically looked at how diverse our cohort was in terms of sexual orientation. We were asked to stand at one side of the room if we were heterosexual and another side of the room if we weren’t. I was the only one in the classroom who had a minority sexual orientation and I was standing on my own.

“I had mixed feelings after that; I wondered what my classmates would think of me, if our relationship would change, and I was angry at the course leader that she gave us that exercise in the first place. There was definitely fear, shame and sadness, but I decided to look closer at the issue I had with myself.

“This was when I started to read more about the literature on LGBTQ+ therapists. Hearing about the stories and narratives and linking it to my own experience was so important - it changed me.”

In what way did it change you?

“I’m now very open when it comes to my sexuality and that’s so important for a psychologist.

“It’s given me that sense of liberation that I can now fully be myself. If someone rejects me then that’s fine, we don’t have to be friends, but I’m not going to be afraid of who I am. There is a human diversity when it comes to sexual orientation – it’s normal!

“The original exercise essentially gave myself ownership and affirmation. I’m currently on placement at LGBT Health and Wellbeing Glasgow, which I absolutely love! I can now pass on all these personal benefits to my clients. It’s really helpful for me to be able to show I’ve been through the journey that they’re going through.”

Aside from the professional impact, do you now feel that you’ve developed more of an acceptance of your sexual orientation?

“That anger that I initially felt to my course leader has now gone; I’m so grateful to her for starting that journey.

“If that hadn’t happened, I would still be feeling ashamed of my sexual orientation and I would still be trying to hide it. She basically led the way for me to make it public and I needed to do that. I’ve got a great relationship with that person now – she’s fantastic.

“It was a beautiful journey that showed how education through university can help transform us as human beings.”

How did your nomination for the DCoP Trainee Prize come about?

“I decided last year to take part in this competition because I’d been struggling a bit with fear of failure and that everything I produced wasn’t good enough, so I decided to challenge myself and take part.”

How did it feel when you found out you’d won?

“It took me a good few days to get over the shock and for it all to sink in - I couldn’t believe it.

“It has definitely helped me to believe in myself a little bit more and realise that my own perspective is important and can bring something new to my profession. I now want to take more risks in the future and do more research.”

Reflecting back on your time here at GCU so far, how thankful are you to the staff members for the support offered to you?

“My academic advisor and course leader are so encouraging and supportive. The Doctorate that I’m doing at GCU isn’t just about learning new stuff; it’s a multifaceted development of you as a human being and preparing you for the future, because it’s quite a big jump into the profession.

“My lecturers have shaped me as a human being and supported me in my development. They also always have time for you, no matter what.

“I call myself a ‘duckling’ and they’re my ‘mama ducks’ because they tell me when I’m ready to fly and try new things. I couldn’t be more grateful.”

By Ross Clark 
Got an SHLS or GSBS story? Email me at Ross.Clark@gcu.ac.uk or message me on Twitter